Another reason LA is Stup-tarded

I wanted to go to the Prop 8 protests on Saturday, but I knew it was going to be crazy crowded so I thought I'd take public transportation. Should be easy right? Forget it.

I had to drive my car 2 miles to the nearest metro stop and when I got there, it just so happens that there was no parking. Anywhere. NO PARKING ANYWHERE!

So basically I took my private transport to get to public transport only to find the public transport was unavailable because of all the private transport that had parked there!!! WHAT THE HELL, L.A.?


P.S. Stupid + Retarded = Stup-tarded

Pixar's "Up"

This movie is going to be amazing... just like everything Pixar does.

Response

I got an email response nearly a month after I submitted some jokes to a website and finally got this response back:

CC, Very Funny!

You KILLED with your application to AskEJean's Dope Astrology.
I received 496 submissions and you made it into the TOP 30!!

I have chosen Miss Adrianne Frost.
http://askejean.com/dopeastrology/

Meanwhile, if you are still looking for work, I am desperate to hire
a right-hand person to help me run AskEJean.com. (Obviously,
I need assistance----it has taken me all this time to get back to you!)

Here is the Craig's List posting with the details:
http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/wri/889416541.html

Ravishing Regards,
E. Jean

If you received this note twice, I apologize-----Damn! I need someone
to manage all this!!!!

So that's exciting.

Long Time No Blog

My new favorite web show happens to be at the company I work for:

Back on Topps

In an attempt to occasionally write for an online humor site, I submitted these little humdingers. Let me know if you think I'll get the job or not:

Fake Horoscope -

• When John McCain watched Top Gun this weekend for the first time, he discovered that he wasn't a maverick at all. You too will suffer a blow to your ego.
• Poll: 60% think a depression is likely in the near future. You are part of the 40% who are already depressed.

Succinct Satire -

• Senator Obama has expressed concerns that there are more black men in prison than in college. In response, Sarah Palin came up with a solution: don't let black men graduate.
• It was discovered that Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist was limited by the iPod hard drive capacity. Apple CEO Steve Jobs responded by promising that the next software update would allow for infinite storage.
• Michael Cera was dubbed Hollywood's hottest awkward teen. When Michael Bluth was asked for his comment on the situation, he responded, "Him?"
• Scientists are hopeful that the Large Hadron Collider will produce evidence of the "God Particle" which will help explain how massless particles can cause matter to have mass. It appears that Sarah Palin already holds the secret to the God Particle as she has unleashed new condemnations of Senator Barack Obama's ties with terrorists. A seemingly baseless particle of non-information is steamrolling it's way through the ignorant crowds of Americans - the same ones who don't have spam filters or facebook profiles - and gaining enough mass to make its way to Prime Time network news! For the love of God Particles, don't listen to Sarah Palin.
  

How Long Have I Been at This?

In response to Sarah Palin's quote during the debates last night, I've started a new blog from Palin's perspective.

Check out:

I've Been at This Five Weeks!

Biden-Palin Quotes That Make Me Wonder

Palin:

How long have I been at this?  Five weeks?

Senator O'Biden

Drill, baby, drill

I'm being straight up.

Um...  (seven seconds pass) (gibberish) white flag of surrender

Biden:

Characteriz- characteristi- characterize